How inappropriate is it that Julia Gillard’s latest foreshadowed tax cut targeting disadvantaged teenage parents who refuse to attend school or training and punishing them by taking away their benefit, hit the headlines in the week prior to Mother’s Day?

From my perspective, apart from the fact that this particular social group is often targeted due to an antiquated morality that still punishes young women who fall pregnant out of wedlock (and this is not the issue being discussed here), this proposed budget cut hits even harder at the notion of motherhood itself.

In effect, it virtually penalises a young mum for staying home during the critical infant/toddler years when the quality of the mother-child bond shapes the physical, mental and emotional health of her offspring for the duration of her child’s life. There has been a plethora of research that unequivocally validates that a close and constant interaction between mother and child (not a child-care employee) is enormously beneficial during the critical formative (nurture) years of the in-arms and early toddlerhood phase of a child’s life.

This announcement sends a very clear message to young mums: that it is NOT OK to simply nurture and support your baby during these critically important formative years, but that you need to justify your existence, by undergoing skills training or education from the time the baby is six months old. It also requires that the child attend early learning classes such as childcare or preschool care.

In both cases it promotes separation between mother and child at an age when connection and bonding is forging major positive brain changes and growth in both mother and child that support the evolution of the next generation.

Recent research is informing us that babies lucky enough to have at-home quality mothering for the early formative years, grow into more rounded, balanced adults with less likelihood that they will go off the rails and develop serious social and mental illnesses It also demonstrates that these children have less health problems and become successfully independent from their parents at an earlier age. All-round healthier children grow into functional adults whose drain on the health resources of a country are minimized.

It has also been shown in a variety of research projects that a woman’s mental and emotional health matures dramatically during pregnancy and the early mothering experience, due to the massive brain changes that result from the inflow of hormones, cleverly programmed by nature to ensure that the baby survives.  Furthermore, when a woman’s experience of mothering is happy and she produces a contented, well-developed rounded child, she will actively seek to pursue a better life for herself and her youngster, because it is also programmed into her innate biology to ensure her child is well resourced and supported. This research demonstrates that young mothers with a positive parenting experience under their belt will step into the responsibility of a job much more readily than a similar aged teen from the same disadvantaged background, who has not yet had a baby.  This maturation process is an easily observable phenomenon in new mothers of all ages and socio-economic backgrounds, and is not restricted to disadvantaged teen mothers.

However, with timely support and intervention, particularly throughout the pregnancy, during infancy and early toddlerhood, younger mums from disadvantaged backgrounds given every assistance to bond deeply with their babies and to share their experience with other young mums will blossom and mature naturally. Forcing separation between a mother and her child at too early an age will prevent this natural process from flowing smoothly and easily.

I am not suggesting that these young women do not need help, but it seems to me, that a far better way of helping them would be to instigate a plan that supports the youngsters in their parenting from within the home environment, so that the parenting experience is successful, both for them and their offspring.  They will then be better able to pass the normal milestones of parenting and be ready, in concert with the child’s readiness to reach out to the world beyond the mum, to move into training and education in preparation for entering the workforce.

Hailed as the wedding of the century (even though we are only one tenth into it!) Prince William and his commoner bride Kate fired up the heart of the world, in a brilliant display of British pageantry that caught the imagination of so many. According to ‘guess-timates’ there were two billion people viewing the spectacle across the globe.

It was elegant in its simplicity and understated style and seemed to cut through the dross of hyper-sophistication, leaving us, the viewers, feeling somehow deeply connected to the heartfelt intention of the young couple.

Kate looked serene, if somewhat shy and demure, especially when William saluted his entourage, but it was her dress that said it all for her – pure sterling silver this girl, and a fine match for the Prince of Hearts.

What a powerful statement they made as a couple – honouring the position of influence they carry, by celebrating love rather than pomp and ceremony. It is no doubt that the regalia of royalty was on display, and what a splendid treat to have the opportunity to see the Abbey, the landau, the coaches and the historical finery trotted out for all of us to enjoy. But all of that simply added to the feeling that was so evident. At its barest, it pared away the stiffness of privilege and social standing to reveal the simple joy and truth of love as a common thread that runs through all of us and taps us into our deepest yearnings.

Bravo dear young ones………you brought freshness and hope to the common people from the midst of your historically stiff and distant heritage.

The word that kept echoing in my mind as I watched the event was connection.

We all yearn for love and connection and an occasion like the Royal Wedding brings that aspiration out in all of us. Prince William’s mother Diana was affectionately known as the Queen of Hearts because she managed to touch into the deepest aspirations of all people and the tidal wave of love she evoked has never been forgotten. Her beloved son resonates to the same note.

We are blessed to have such a role model in both these two lovely young people for they remind us of the importance of love in our life, no matter how ‘common’ we perceive ourselves to be. It is love that makes all relationships ‘royal’ including the unique love relationship we have with ourselves. It is that that makes us sovereign in our own lives.

Thank God that humanity is turning the corner in some parts of the globe.

It is connection that maketh the human human, not wealth, ego-satisfaction, achievement or worldly success. These things satisfy our need for security, safety, basic survival and include food shelter and avoidance of pain, and are not to be diminished in relative importance in this three-dimensional world we live in. We have only to compassionately recognise the absence of these basic human rights throughout some countries in the Middle East to know that many of our human family suffer, on a daily basis.  

But in the so-called First World where we are suffering from an over abundance of material wealth with our two and three car families and houses that echo with emptiness because they are so big, it is the memories of the heart that bring the deepest peace on the deathbed.

Long live love, long live connection and may peace reign throughout the globe as we awaken to the throb of the love bond that exists throughout all the universe, connecting everything to everything else in the vast immeasurable web of life.

Thank you to the Prince of Hearts and his blessed bride for courageously parading their love for the world to see and feel.

  This exciting course is the first of its kind – it is offered to women from all walks of life - but more particularly to women who:

• have menstruation or gynaecological problems
• are considering having a child and want to consciously conceive
• are experiencing fertility problems
• are already pregnant
• are coping with the early stages of motherhood
• are in a primary relationship that is stressful and demanding
• want to understand the ways to get the best out of your relationship

The course is based on the Body-Mind understanding expressed in the book The Essence of Woman

It will be conducted as a workshop. This structure ensures that participants will gain understanding through  experiencing and sharing with other participants, as well as learning new and insightful information designed to assist them in their life process.

It also allows personal interaction with me, to answer your personal questions and to guide you through your own unique issues. You will get first-hand answers, strategies and advice gleaned from my thirty years in clinical practice working with women and from my own life experience.

I have many real life case histories to share (real names withheld for privacy of course). Each of these personal stories will have some resonance with you in your own life and will offer new ways of seeing yourself out of any personal dilemma you are currently experiencing, particularly in the realm of relationships.

Originally set down to commence on March 21st, 2009, we have responded to requests for a more user-friendly timetable, particularly for Mums with young children. I have responded by making the course shorter, starting a little later in the year and making the gaps between the dates longer.

 Also, the new dates will not clash with the large number of long weekends that are such a big part of the first half of the year.

The new dates are scheduled for the first Saturday of each month starting in June and finishing in September, i.e., 6th June, 4th July, 1st August and 5th September.

Included in this more compact and restructured course will be one day on Relationships, an inclusion that is a natural outcome of the Essence of Woman content.

This is one of the directions that my work is taking me because it is so obvious that the quality of our intimate relationships is such a crucial part of everyone’s life.

I do apologise to those who have already booked for canceling out at the last minute. I can assure you that the ‘new improved’ version will be worth the wait!
More details on the course in following newsletters.