Under stress, men and women have different brain activation patterns. Stress causes men and women to respond differently to risky decision making, with men charging ahead for small rewards and women taking their time, according to a new study in Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience, published by Oxford University Press on June 4^th, 2011.

After being subjected to stress, men appeared to be more motivated to act quickly while women slow down.

According to the study, when men are under stress, playing a risk-taking game stimulated areas in the brain that are activated when one gets a reward or satisfies an addiction. The same experiment found diminished brain activity for women in the same areas when they were stressed. It appears women do not feel the drive to get a reward as much under stress. So under stress men are risk-takers, while women are risk-adverse.

This compelling information has many ramifications when it comes to making life decisions with a partner or spouse on matters of importance to the wellbeing of the partnership.

While there might be advantages to both stress responses, especially in areas with the need to weigh short-term gain, such as the stock market, and long-term benefits, such as health decisions or retirement planning, there are many implications for daily life and relationships.

For example, it would not be wise for a man to invest the couple’s life savings on the stock market if he is under duress. Similarly a woman with a life-threatening illness might have to speed up her decision-making process if the disease is progressing rapidly with time.

In the study participants were given a task of filling up a computer-simulated balloon with as much air as possible without popping the balloon.

Subjects earned from $4 to $45 based on their performance, with the men earning much more cash under stress.

Although men performed this task better, the more important conclusion may be that important decisions made under stress should include input from both genders. It might be better to have more gender diversity on important decision because men and women offer differing perspectives. Being more cautious and taking the time to make a decision will often lead to the right choice.

Men and women faced with tough decisions might improve their communication by waiting until a stressful situation has passed because in the absence of stress their behaviour and brain activation is more compatible.

According to lead author on the study Nichole Lighthall, "Men and women appear to think more similarly when they are not stressed. Each party in a couple needs to be aware of the way they are biased in their decisions especially when under stress."

Last year Lighthall authored a study in the journal PLoS One that showed that men under stress may be more likely to take risks, correlating to such real-life behavior as gambling, smoking, unsafe sex and illegal drug use.

Gender differences in brain structure and response to environmental stimuli mean that men and women respond to the world from a very different world-view. Other areas of gender differentiation come into play in the bedroom, social behaviour, attitudes to work and health and in the area of parenting.

In our Essence of Woman Relationships Workshop we explore how to navigate the rocky waters of gender difference so that you can enjoy complementary harmony in your relationship in the way that Nature intended.

If you are interested in learning more about how gender differences shape your relationship and how by understanding them you can bring compatibility into your sexual life, your workplace, your parenting and your extended family life in concert with your partner, click here to go to our Spirit of Woman website where you can view the details of our July 30th and 31st workshop and to book online. Simply scroll down to the Essence of Relationships workshop and you can click through to book.

If you find that you view your spouse or partner as if you are looking in the mirror, expecting the same responses and behaviours from him as you have,  and yet somehow  he 'lets you down every time', then this workshop will delight, comfort, empower and lift you and your your relationship up to where it belongs – to harmony, joy, balance and inner peace.

You can then return here to read more blogs about how gender differences can either make our lives hell or take us to heaven……..

Nature evolved the multitude of species that make up the rich tapestry of life over a period of  3.8 billion years. The 'laboratory of life' has been are remarkably successful research and development program where only those designs that augment and support life have survived. Species that weren't equipped for the long haul died out after a period of trial and error, while those that perfected their evolutionary pathways, either through design, form, behaviour or the ability to co-operate with other species, live on today as a testimony to their success.

It has been only since the Industrial Revolution of the 18th and 19th centuries that humankind initiated major changes in agriculture, manufacturing, mining, transportation and technology that revolutionised the way we live. It is now, in the aftermath of the behemoth that transformed the face of the planet forever, a mere 200- 300 years later, that we are being challenged by the cumulative effects of rapid, unbalanced and short-sighted, parasitic growth.  

Waterways have been intoxicated or bled dry by human irrigators, forests denuded leaving animal species stripped of their habitats and a carbon crisis that contributes to abruptly changing weather patterns, while the Great Pacific Garbage Patch, a toxic load of human by-product the size of Texas, presents numerous hazards to marine life, fishing and tourism and is said now to be almost impossible to clean up. The list goes on…….

Effectively, the swift and cataclysmic changes brought about by the Industrial Revolution had the effect of not only negatively impacting the natural environment, bringing humanity almost to the brink of destruction, but of simultaneously separating and alienating human beings from the natural world, so that we were blinded to the exquisite beauty and functionality of natural design. With biomimicry, a relatively new science, we see the return to an appreciation of design principles that are rooted in the Divine Feminine. 

So what is biomimicry? According to Wikipedia, "Biomimicry is the examination of nature, its models, systems, processes, and elements to emulate or take inspiration from in order to solve human problems". Biomimicry, as an innovating process, generally comes from one of two directions. Sometimes, the innovator sees a process in nature and connects it to an existing technology or problem. Other times, the innovator studies an existing design problem and turns to nature for help.

For example, new housing design in Africa is mimicking the construction of termite nests whose cool building strategies include aligning the nests north-south and and constructing air vents that constantly move air throughout the mound, cooling or heating it to the same temperature as the mound itself, to achieve a constant inside temperature. Architects and engineers are building several large office complexes that mimic the termite approach to temperature control.

Another of Nature's marvellous designs concerns a beetle that inhabits the searing deserts where there is no ground water. His back is constructed using a ripple effect, consisting of water-attracting molecules along the peaks and water-repelling molecules along the troughs. The beetle stands with his back to the wind on top of a sand dune and collects water from the air which collects on the peaks, and rolls down into the trough when sodden. Repelled, the water then runs along the troughs which slope down into the beetle's mouth. A company in Sydney is investigating this age-old technique for innovative inner city roofing where a 40% humidity can jackpot into a massive water-load over a single day, enough for all the household's daily needs. 

On the planet today, there are as many brilliant designs as there are remarkable species, all of which have perfected their own unique way of working co-operatively with Nature to survive. Some species survive through mutual reciprocity with other species, others by design features in their form, others through biological strategies, such as repellent surfaces that make their lives not only comfortable but enables them to survive. Ecological systems rely on mutual interaction and co-operation between species and family groups and net-working between the plant and animal kingdoms that enhances their own survival while lending support to another. The planet itself is an interacting vital collective of self-supporting eco-systems that equally enhance and support each of the individual parts for the greater good.

Nature is the Divine Feminine in action, expressed through the principles of co-operation, mutual support, conservation, net-working and working towards the good of the whole.

As humanity, in true humility, embraces the intelligence of design that has evolved over billions of years on this planet, we simultaneously step out of the ego-base of the prevailing masculine paradigm to recognise that we are a part of Nature, not some arrogant overlay that dominates and prevails. As humans being, we must acknowledge that we do not know everything – that is the realm of the Divine Goddess in conjunction with Spirit – we are merely mirrors of the Divine – both Feminine and Masculine.

Females are biologically inscribed to express Divine Feminine values in their life because they are the ones who bear, nurture and socialise their children, the adults of the future. Because life is designed to evolve, Nature well-equipped them for this role with the very principles of being that uphold and support Nature's evolutionary drive. Essentially it is females who carry the baton of evolution through to the next generation.

Males are biologically inscribed to protect the female and family. Theirs is to uphold life, honouring and protecting it's processes so that it can recycle itself for better and better outcomes with each succeeding generation.  

What has gone askew is that the Divine Feminine and the Masculine Spirit have been cycling out of balance, so dis-ease has set in. The Masculine has somehow prevailed as being the one that holds the power, over females and over Nature, while the Feminine has collaborated by dishonouring their own power base and accepting being 'second-class citizens. Although different, the two genders must stand together and collectively create a new life for humanity and the planet.

As humans being, we must redress the imbalance by bringing the Divine Feminine into the light while subduing the arrogance of the Masculine Spirit. When harmony is achieved, the Feminine and the Masculine are in balance, and we will experience the Golden Age of Peace that is just waiting around the corner.

Biomimicry is a crucial step along the way. At last the ancient wisdom of the Goddess is being recognised and harnessed for the good of the whole …….. not just for humanity but for the healing of the planet as well. Each unique design developed by one species or another both supports the integrated whole and does no harm. Both of these principles are foundational underpinnings of the art of healing…….

The Masculine Spirit, represented by Science (either female or male scientists), by drawing on the intelligence of the Divine Feminine, as intelligent design, can create heaven on Earth.

In the words of Janine Benyus, author of the 1997 book Biomimicry: Innovation Inspired by Nature.: "The more our world functions like the natural world the more likely we are to endure on this home that is ours, but not ours alone"  

Please comment on this blog post….I am interested to hear your opinion……………… and enjoy the spiral…………

Hailed as the wedding of the century (even though we are only one tenth into it!) Prince William and his commoner bride Kate fired up the heart of the world, in a brilliant display of British pageantry that caught the imagination of so many. According to ‘guess-timates’ there were two billion people viewing the spectacle across the globe.

It was elegant in its simplicity and understated style and seemed to cut through the dross of hyper-sophistication, leaving us, the viewers, feeling somehow deeply connected to the heartfelt intention of the young couple.

Kate looked serene, if somewhat shy and demure, especially when William saluted his entourage, but it was her dress that said it all for her – pure sterling silver this girl, and a fine match for the Prince of Hearts.

What a powerful statement they made as a couple – honouring the position of influence they carry, by celebrating love rather than pomp and ceremony. It is no doubt that the regalia of royalty was on display, and what a splendid treat to have the opportunity to see the Abbey, the landau, the coaches and the historical finery trotted out for all of us to enjoy. But all of that simply added to the feeling that was so evident. At its barest, it pared away the stiffness of privilege and social standing to reveal the simple joy and truth of love as a common thread that runs through all of us and taps us into our deepest yearnings.

Bravo dear young ones………you brought freshness and hope to the common people from the midst of your historically stiff and distant heritage.

The word that kept echoing in my mind as I watched the event was connection.

We all yearn for love and connection and an occasion like the Royal Wedding brings that aspiration out in all of us. Prince William’s mother Diana was affectionately known as the Queen of Hearts because she managed to touch into the deepest aspirations of all people and the tidal wave of love she evoked has never been forgotten. Her beloved son resonates to the same note.

We are blessed to have such a role model in both these two lovely young people for they remind us of the importance of love in our life, no matter how ‘common’ we perceive ourselves to be. It is love that makes all relationships ‘royal’ including the unique love relationship we have with ourselves. It is that that makes us sovereign in our own lives.

Thank God that humanity is turning the corner in some parts of the globe.

It is connection that maketh the human human, not wealth, ego-satisfaction, achievement or worldly success. These things satisfy our need for security, safety, basic survival and include food shelter and avoidance of pain, and are not to be diminished in relative importance in this three-dimensional world we live in. We have only to compassionately recognise the absence of these basic human rights throughout some countries in the Middle East to know that many of our human family suffer, on a daily basis.  

But in the so-called First World where we are suffering from an over abundance of material wealth with our two and three car families and houses that echo with emptiness because they are so big, it is the memories of the heart that bring the deepest peace on the deathbed.

Long live love, long live connection and may peace reign throughout the globe as we awaken to the throb of the love bond that exists throughout all the universe, connecting everything to everything else in the vast immeasurable web of life.

Thank you to the Prince of Hearts and his blessed bride for courageously parading their love for the world to see and feel.

Throughout history humankind has revered the Divine Mother principle that personifies the universal love and nurturing spirit that immortalizes the natural bond between mother and child. Mary, Mother of Jesus has personified this divine principle for Christians and non-Christians alike. Mary represents the ideal woman, the perfection of the female principle, and the incarnation of the eternal feminine aspect, an aspect of which we all have within our being.

Because women carry the baton of evolution, through the children they bear, into the next generation, Nature has designed their biology to reflect the critical importance of this role to the survival and evolution of the human race.

Women are structured and shaped by their genetic inheritance, their biology, their culture and their early environment. Each of these factors plays a role in determining their destiny. But their intrinsic femaleness is brought about by phase-specific hormonal inflows that compel their behaviours and shape their values.

Ever wondered why, as a woman, your principles, moods, desires and perceptions, in fact your whole reality, can change from day to day—so much so that you sometimes wonder if the same person is looking back at you in the mirror today, as yesterday?

Are you aware that as a woman, your perception of reality, including your moods, desires and values, is determined by the hormones that course through your body bringing physical changes and morphing your mind.

The female brain is deeply affected by the continually shifting inflow of hormones affecting behaviour, thoughts, emotions and interests. Even the values that mould our perceptions shift from day to day and week to week.

Unlike the constant and steady neurological state enjoyed by a male, the female brain is continuously exposed to ever-changing hormone levels, from the age of three months to beyond menopause, profoundly affecting all levels of being, from the bedroom, family, and friendships to the work environment.

We hear so much about the incoming Divine Feminine energies but what does this mean for contemporary women from all walks of life, and in the various stages of womanhood?

The “Divine Feminine”, “Return of the Feminine”, the Sacred Feminine ” are all metaphors for the return to higher consciousness. We seek balance between the male and female aspects of the Self and when we find that balance we come into our power. The return of the feminine, is not about women ruling society; that would create imbalance. It is about the return to nature, to masculine/feminine aspects in harmony, yin and yang re-united so both hemispheres of the brain are working in balance leading to higher levels of consciousness.

When we take an overview of the changes taking place on a cultural level right across the globe we can begin to see that there is a subtle energy shift, in wake of the GFC, that calls for a slow-down of the galloping pace of life and a move towards co-operative rather than competitive relationships at home, in the business world and in the community.

This is an expression of the Divine Feminine whose values include co-operation, net-working, process-orientated, conservation, and support. The values we have been operating under are competitive, hierarchical, linear, expansion, and dog-eat-dog. The incoming Divine Feminine is ushering in a change in the way that society functions as well as a shift in the way that women perceive themselves and men relate to them.

Women are being called on to acknowledge these powerful energies within themselves and align with the vital primary forces of life that drive both their physical functioning and their psychology.

When a woman is empowered through this alignment she becomes exactly what nature intended her to be: sexy, articulate, intuitive, playful, feeling and healing. As the bearer of children, she carries the baton of life force energy through to the next generation. And because she is compelled to seek compassionate quality connection with those in her intimate circle, she is the connector, creating and re-creating the web of life that sustains us all. Her primary drive is to conserve, nurture maintain and support. With the planet teetering at the brink of exhaustion, it is the feminine principle that is now needed to redress the imbalance and heal.

When, as a woman, you tune into your female biological underpinning, you will learn how to listen to the whisperings of your own truth. You will then be open to the immense source of power that comes from acknowledging and living in alignment with your feminine core.

When, as a man, you understand the essential nature of the woman in your life, you will more easily dovetail into the soft undulations of the feminine psyche whilst retaining, upholding and engaging your own potent masculine spirit.

Breathtakingly beautiful, these flowers in the sky are so timeless and still, expressing the overwhelming magnificence of the natural world. The shapes are so familiar to us – when we behold a flower we see the same patterns repeated over and over again. . Watch and be still and sense the awesome presence – this is the Universe of which we are an intrinsic part – like flowers of life we are mirrored throughout eternity – in the Heavens above and here on Earth.

I would like you to meet Bleeding Heart, one of the new essences in my Spirit of Woman Australian Wild Flower Essence range being launched on 21st June, 2009.

Bleeding Heart
Omalanthus populifolius (Queensland Poplar)
A fast-growing, rainforest tree belonging to the family Euphorbiaceae. It has leaves shaped like hearts. As they are dying, the leaves turn red, thus the name.
The minute, cream flowers grow in dense, terminal, slender racemes.
It pops up everywhere in perfect weather conditions, but wilts and dies quickly once ‘the heat is on.’
Doctrine of Signatures
This tree is extremely fast growing as if it is in a hurry, like those who fall in and out of love at the drop of a hat, desperately seeking what they feel a relationship should be offering them.
The leaves are distinctly heart-shaped and just before they fall off the tree, they turn to a brilliant and dramatic red colour. Called Bleeding Heart, the tree’s growing habit reminds one of the drama and intensity that goes with the break-up of a relationship — painful memories, hurt and grief, making the heart bleed.
The numerous tiny flowers located on a slender raceme seem to be reaching out as if desperately seeking for acceptance and love or for a need to be met. The abundance of the flowers suggests although the affairs have been numerous, none have yet satisfied the need. The smallness of the flowers suggests that the person feels small and not worthy of notice and what is so desperately being sought is a feeling of self-worth.
Dying For Love
This is the person who seeks outside of herself for validation and a sense of being worthy. She seeks love in every encounter, and feels validated and alive if she is in the intense honeymoon period of a love affair.
Often this person is ‘dying for love,’ and can sabotage her own desire for a relationship by wearing her heart on her sleeve and actually pushing away a prospective partner with her intensity.
Or sometimes this type of person will fall in love with the unattainable — the clergy, a married man, etc. — thus subconsciously fulfilling her own prophecy of never finding the right partner.
These women romanticize love, holding it up as an ideal and are often unable to sustain a relationship when the person turns out to be ‘ordinary.’ Because of their idealized view of love, they put their lover or spouse on a pedestal, then wonder why they are disappointed when he turns out to be human and not ‘superhuman’ after all.
Many women put romantic expectations on their lover or spouse, and when he doesn’t deliver they lose their loving feeling. They may fantasize about leaving the present relationship and finding one where they will ‘truly be loved.’
A Wall Around the Heart
Some women cut themselves off from the rest of the world because they are partnered. Their unreal expectations that their partner will fulfill all of their needs — physical, social, emotional, sexual, security and friendship — puts a heavy strain on the relationship. The woman will feel sad when her partner can’t deliver and find that she is isolated and lonely.
Some women put a wall around their heart because they don’t want it to bleed again, having been hurt in the past by a love relationship gone wrong. These women experience great pain because in their deepest heart, they want to love again, but they are too scared to reach out.
Love is a Natural State
This essence attunes one to the feeling that one is worthy of experiencing true love that endures in a state of grace, delicacy and gentleness. It helps one to recognize that love can be constant and enduring and does not falter when the chips are down. It allows one to see that true love is unconditional and not focused on only what one is receiving, but also what one is giving. This love does not control, but rather lets things be the way they are based in the profound heart wisdom that everything is unfolding perfectly as it should.
Bleeding Heart helps a woman to recognize affinity as attraction to a significant other, and when that magnetism is felt, there is genuinely something there. It helps to put into perspective the notion that touching and being touched is a demonstration of the power of feeling between them and not simply an end in itself.
Love is a natural state between all living things. Love radiates throughout all existence, including human beings and the plant, animal and mineral kingdoms.
Live to Love and Love to Live
The cry of a ‘warrior of the heart’ is live to love again. When we stay open to love, we become more loving and consequently attract love to us. This is the healing energy of Bleeding Heart.
Your Healing Challenges

• For those who wear their heart on their sleeve.
• For those who pine for love.
• For those who fall in love with the unattainable.
• For those who put a wall around the heart.
• For co-dependency.
• For those who feel they can’t live without love.

Your Healing Outcomes

• Brings discernment in selecting a partner.
• Quiets the hungry heart.
• Opens the heart to true love.
• Encourages individuality within a relationship.
• Enables love of the self.
• Helps one to take a risk.
• Works on the first, second and fourth chakras.

  This exciting course is the first of its kind – it is offered to women from all walks of life - but more particularly to women who:

• have menstruation or gynaecological problems
• are considering having a child and want to consciously conceive
• are experiencing fertility problems
• are already pregnant
• are coping with the early stages of motherhood
• are in a primary relationship that is stressful and demanding
• want to understand the ways to get the best out of your relationship

The course is based on the Body-Mind understanding expressed in the book The Essence of Woman

It will be conducted as a workshop. This structure ensures that participants will gain understanding through  experiencing and sharing with other participants, as well as learning new and insightful information designed to assist them in their life process.

It also allows personal interaction with me, to answer your personal questions and to guide you through your own unique issues. You will get first-hand answers, strategies and advice gleaned from my thirty years in clinical practice working with women and from my own life experience.

I have many real life case histories to share (real names withheld for privacy of course). Each of these personal stories will have some resonance with you in your own life and will offer new ways of seeing yourself out of any personal dilemma you are currently experiencing, particularly in the realm of relationships.

Originally set down to commence on March 21st, 2009, we have responded to requests for a more user-friendly timetable, particularly for Mums with young children. I have responded by making the course shorter, starting a little later in the year and making the gaps between the dates longer.

 Also, the new dates will not clash with the large number of long weekends that are such a big part of the first half of the year.

The new dates are scheduled for the first Saturday of each month starting in June and finishing in September, i.e., 6th June, 4th July, 1st August and 5th September.

Included in this more compact and restructured course will be one day on Relationships, an inclusion that is a natural outcome of the Essence of Woman content.

This is one of the directions that my work is taking me because it is so obvious that the quality of our intimate relationships is such a crucial part of everyone’s life.

I do apologise to those who have already booked for canceling out at the last minute. I can assure you that the ‘new improved’ version will be worth the wait!
More details on the course in following newsletters.