Under stress, men and women have different brain activation patterns. Stress causes men and women to respond differently to risky decision making, with men charging ahead for small rewards and women taking their time, according to a new study in Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience, published by Oxford University Press on June 4^th, 2011.

After being subjected to stress, men appeared to be more motivated to act quickly while women slow down.

According to the study, when men are under stress, playing a risk-taking game stimulated areas in the brain that are activated when one gets a reward or satisfies an addiction. The same experiment found diminished brain activity for women in the same areas when they were stressed. It appears women do not feel the drive to get a reward as much under stress. So under stress men are risk-takers, while women are risk-adverse.

This compelling information has many ramifications when it comes to making life decisions with a partner or spouse on matters of importance to the wellbeing of the partnership.

While there might be advantages to both stress responses, especially in areas with the need to weigh short-term gain, such as the stock market, and long-term benefits, such as health decisions or retirement planning, there are many implications for daily life and relationships.

For example, it would not be wise for a man to invest the couple’s life savings on the stock market if he is under duress. Similarly a woman with a life-threatening illness might have to speed up her decision-making process if the disease is progressing rapidly with time.

In the study participants were given a task of filling up a computer-simulated balloon with as much air as possible without popping the balloon.

Subjects earned from $4 to $45 based on their performance, with the men earning much more cash under stress.

Although men performed this task better, the more important conclusion may be that important decisions made under stress should include input from both genders. It might be better to have more gender diversity on important decision because men and women offer differing perspectives. Being more cautious and taking the time to make a decision will often lead to the right choice.

Men and women faced with tough decisions might improve their communication by waiting until a stressful situation has passed because in the absence of stress their behaviour and brain activation is more compatible.

According to lead author on the study Nichole Lighthall, "Men and women appear to think more similarly when they are not stressed. Each party in a couple needs to be aware of the way they are biased in their decisions especially when under stress."

Last year Lighthall authored a study in the journal PLoS One that showed that men under stress may be more likely to take risks, correlating to such real-life behavior as gambling, smoking, unsafe sex and illegal drug use.

Gender differences in brain structure and response to environmental stimuli mean that men and women respond to the world from a very different world-view. Other areas of gender differentiation come into play in the bedroom, social behaviour, attitudes to work and health and in the area of parenting.

In our Essence of Woman Relationships Workshop we explore how to navigate the rocky waters of gender difference so that you can enjoy complementary harmony in your relationship in the way that Nature intended.

If you are interested in learning more about how gender differences shape your relationship and how by understanding them you can bring compatibility into your sexual life, your workplace, your parenting and your extended family life in concert with your partner, click here to go to our Spirit of Woman website where you can view the details of our July 30th and 31st workshop and to book online. Simply scroll down to the Essence of Relationships workshop and you can click through to book.

If you find that you view your spouse or partner as if you are looking in the mirror, expecting the same responses and behaviours from him as you have,  and yet somehow  he 'lets you down every time', then this workshop will delight, comfort, empower and lift you and your your relationship up to where it belongs – to harmony, joy, balance and inner peace.

You can then return here to read more blogs about how gender differences can either make our lives hell or take us to heaven……..

During pregnancy you will go through change on all levels of your being

more rapidly than at any other time in your adult life. The only other time

your body and mind changed so swiftly and dramatically is when you were

in your mother’s womb and during the first few years of your infancy and 

toddlerhood.

First pregnancy is a rite of passage, which takes you from the Maiden

phase in your life to that of the Mother. Once this passage has

occurred you will never be the same again, both in body and mind.

For some women the dawning realization as the pregnancy progresses

that they are facing a major milestone in life, closing some doors and

opening others, takes a lot of emotional and mental letting go and

can be accompanied by regret, fear and doubt. These reservations

will, in turn, trigger a lack of ease, leading to a number of classic

pregnancy symptoms, such as morning sickness, discomfort and

even aches and pains.

If this seems to be the case with you, it is highly recommended that

you talk over some of your concerns with a professional practitioner

specializing in a natural birthing approach, such as your yoga

instructor.

Unpacking these concerns often simply involves recognizing that

this is a major transition in your life that needs to be acknowledged.

Many women find it useful to ritualize or mark this process with a

special occasion with a loved person in their life, in recognition of

the significance of this rite of passage. Setting aside a special time

like this to focus on the importance of this transition in your life

can help you to embark on this new phase from a position of

awareness and joyous anticipation rather than feeling unsure

about an uncertain future filled with unknowns, and regret over

leaving a known and comfortable past behind. 

By simply talking over what it means to you to shed the past you

have known and to look into a future that is new and probably

quite scary for you can bring to the surface fears and

apprehensions that might otherwise stay buried, causing

lack of ease. Through this simple process, many women

discover that symptoms they were experiencing either

reduce in severity or simply disappear in the atmosphere

of aware expectancy that can follow such a process.

That is not to say that all symptoms are in the mind! The

body has a momentous job to do in the next short nine

months and will accomplish the task as well as well as

possible given the state of health at the time of conception.

That is why it is far better to plan a pregnancy to follow a

period of consciously nurturing and supporting the body

to a state of optimum good health. The healthier your

body is at the time of conception, the healthier your

pregnancy will be. After all it has a lot of work to do

and many changes to accommodate a new life.

Hormones mediate these changes and on the physical

level they bring about an increase in blood volume by

up to 100% to allow for placental and foetal blood

circulation and an increase in heart rate, liver metabolism,

respiration and digestion and assimilation. All of these

organ systems support maternal functioning but also

provide the flow of the life force, by way of nourishment,

oxygen and detoxification, into the growing baby via

the umbilicus.

Hormones also mediate changes on the mental level for the

new mum literally by actually altering the brain structure

functionally and irreversibly, forever, to prepare her for

motherhood. These changes, initially mediated by the

hormones of pregnancy, are further activated during the

birthing process and then reinforced by the bonding process

and by daily physical closeness between mother and baby in

early infancy and baby years.

In fact, during pregnancy the ‘brain morphing’ process involves

clipping off some of the neural pathways of Maidenhood that

will no longer be utilized. In the weeks just prior to birth,

reshaping the brain to a ‘Mummy brain’ occurs by adding

new neural-chemical pathways, constructing large networks

of maternal circuits in a process known as ‘nesting’.

Researchers tell us that a ‘Mummy brain’ is larger, more

competent and has in-built mechanisms to increase

risk-taking, grant courage and be more ‘on alert’.

In this way, Nature ensures that the new mother will be

not only physically prepared for the task ahead of her,

but also mentally prepped to ensure the best possible

survival chances for the incoming baby.

On the emotional level too big changes are taking place

in the Mummy-to-be, again mediated by the powerful

effects of hormones. Intending mothers often feel a

high degree of apprehension and fear that the baby

may not be healthy or that they may not be able to

manage the birth or motherhood. These fears are

entirely normal and are a part of the preparation

process that Nature has programmed into pregnancy

to ensure that the mother is prepared.

As discussed above, late pregnancy brings much

relief to the fears typical of the early stages, through

brain changes that alter the neuro-chemical pathways

bringing courage and an ‘on-alert’ readiness to face

the unknown with agility and fearlessness. Many

of the distressing emotional states of earlier days

of pregnancy dissolve with this late stage brain

re-structuring.

And what about baby and emotions? Because Mother

and baby are sharing the same body they are also

encapsulated in the same energy field. Emotions are

shared too – what the mother feels the baby feels

also, not on the conscious level, but as an energy

flow, which directly affects the delicate growing

organs systems of the baby. In fact, the mother’s

emotions become part of the baby’s subconscious

reality, embedded at the cellular level as the baby

lays down her physical structure. In effect, the baby

is like a sponge, soaking up the mother’s emotional

ups and downs as a kind of energetic ancestral map

for the future. It is now recognized that we carry not

only the physical characteristics of our parents, but

also the emotional tendencies, particularly of our

mother. So it is evident that the mother’s demeanor

during pregnancy has a profound influence of

shaping the baby’s personality for life.

Pregnancy can be stressful – any time we are forced

to go through major change registers as stress on the

human BodyMind….and as we have seen pregnancy

involves lightning-speed changes and being catapulted

into a new life style, situation and depth of complexity

with your current intimate relationship. The key to

riding the wave of change with relative ease is to

stay healthy physically, emotionally and mentally.

You can control your physical health through yoga and

other gentle exercise, consciously eating well and

getting plenty of sleep.

As far as your mental and emotional wellbeing is concerned,

this is where women are challenged to let go of control

and go with the flow, trusting that what Nature has

programmed into baby-making processes will ensure

the evolution of the species, not its devolution. Billions

of women ahead of you have taken this journey – and

survived. You need to be aware that encoded deep in

the inner recesses of your being is faultless programming

designed by Nature to ensure the best possible birthing

outcome for you and your baby.

So here are a few tips on how to navigate pregnancy for

the best outcome for you and your baby:

Listen to your intuition – it is your best guidance system

and it is personally tailored to your own needs ad those

of the baby you are making. YOU know best, even

though you may never have done this amazing thing before.

Be selective from whom you take advice. There will be

many offering you advice and in many cases it will be

laced with fear, as women usually like to share their

’horror’ stories. Because fear is so infectious and you

are exceedingly vulnerable when pregnant, make a

decision to listen only to those who affirm your

ability to know what is best for yourself, even your

doctor and midwife.

Inform yourself with positive stories around pregnancy

and birthing and mix with people who have an

optimistic outlook.

Seek help to calm your emotional fears if you feel

they are out of hand – your baby will be calmer and

healthier if you cn mange to treat your emotional ups

and downs with a pinch of salt rather than over-

dramatising them.

And remember, you will get your body back so rather

than bemoaning its expansion, marvel at its flexibility

and adaptability and enjoy the experience…….

How inappropriate is it that Julia Gillard’s latest foreshadowed tax cut targeting disadvantaged teenage parents who refuse to attend school or training and punishing them by taking away their benefit, hit the headlines in the week prior to Mother’s Day?

From my perspective, apart from the fact that this particular social group is often targeted due to an antiquated morality that still punishes young women who fall pregnant out of wedlock (and this is not the issue being discussed here), this proposed budget cut hits even harder at the notion of motherhood itself.

In effect, it virtually penalises a young mum for staying home during the critical infant/toddler years when the quality of the mother-child bond shapes the physical, mental and emotional health of her offspring for the duration of her child’s life. There has been a plethora of research that unequivocally validates that a close and constant interaction between mother and child (not a child-care employee) is enormously beneficial during the critical formative (nurture) years of the in-arms and early toddlerhood phase of a child’s life.

This announcement sends a very clear message to young mums: that it is NOT OK to simply nurture and support your baby during these critically important formative years, but that you need to justify your existence, by undergoing skills training or education from the time the baby is six months old. It also requires that the child attend early learning classes such as childcare or preschool care.

In both cases it promotes separation between mother and child at an age when connection and bonding is forging major positive brain changes and growth in both mother and child that support the evolution of the next generation.

Recent research is informing us that babies lucky enough to have at-home quality mothering for the early formative years, grow into more rounded, balanced adults with less likelihood that they will go off the rails and develop serious social and mental illnesses It also demonstrates that these children have less health problems and become successfully independent from their parents at an earlier age. All-round healthier children grow into functional adults whose drain on the health resources of a country are minimized.

It has also been shown in a variety of research projects that a woman’s mental and emotional health matures dramatically during pregnancy and the early mothering experience, due to the massive brain changes that result from the inflow of hormones, cleverly programmed by nature to ensure that the baby survives.  Furthermore, when a woman’s experience of mothering is happy and she produces a contented, well-developed rounded child, she will actively seek to pursue a better life for herself and her youngster, because it is also programmed into her innate biology to ensure her child is well resourced and supported. This research demonstrates that young mothers with a positive parenting experience under their belt will step into the responsibility of a job much more readily than a similar aged teen from the same disadvantaged background, who has not yet had a baby.  This maturation process is an easily observable phenomenon in new mothers of all ages and socio-economic backgrounds, and is not restricted to disadvantaged teen mothers.

However, with timely support and intervention, particularly throughout the pregnancy, during infancy and early toddlerhood, younger mums from disadvantaged backgrounds given every assistance to bond deeply with their babies and to share their experience with other young mums will blossom and mature naturally. Forcing separation between a mother and her child at too early an age will prevent this natural process from flowing smoothly and easily.

I am not suggesting that these young women do not need help, but it seems to me, that a far better way of helping them would be to instigate a plan that supports the youngsters in their parenting from within the home environment, so that the parenting experience is successful, both for them and their offspring.  They will then be better able to pass the normal milestones of parenting and be ready, in concert with the child’s readiness to reach out to the world beyond the mum, to move into training and education in preparation for entering the workforce.

Hailed as the wedding of the century (even though we are only one tenth into it!) Prince William and his commoner bride Kate fired up the heart of the world, in a brilliant display of British pageantry that caught the imagination of so many. According to ‘guess-timates’ there were two billion people viewing the spectacle across the globe.

It was elegant in its simplicity and understated style and seemed to cut through the dross of hyper-sophistication, leaving us, the viewers, feeling somehow deeply connected to the heartfelt intention of the young couple.

Kate looked serene, if somewhat shy and demure, especially when William saluted his entourage, but it was her dress that said it all for her – pure sterling silver this girl, and a fine match for the Prince of Hearts.

What a powerful statement they made as a couple – honouring the position of influence they carry, by celebrating love rather than pomp and ceremony. It is no doubt that the regalia of royalty was on display, and what a splendid treat to have the opportunity to see the Abbey, the landau, the coaches and the historical finery trotted out for all of us to enjoy. But all of that simply added to the feeling that was so evident. At its barest, it pared away the stiffness of privilege and social standing to reveal the simple joy and truth of love as a common thread that runs through all of us and taps us into our deepest yearnings.

Bravo dear young ones………you brought freshness and hope to the common people from the midst of your historically stiff and distant heritage.

The word that kept echoing in my mind as I watched the event was connection.

We all yearn for love and connection and an occasion like the Royal Wedding brings that aspiration out in all of us. Prince William’s mother Diana was affectionately known as the Queen of Hearts because she managed to touch into the deepest aspirations of all people and the tidal wave of love she evoked has never been forgotten. Her beloved son resonates to the same note.

We are blessed to have such a role model in both these two lovely young people for they remind us of the importance of love in our life, no matter how ‘common’ we perceive ourselves to be. It is love that makes all relationships ‘royal’ including the unique love relationship we have with ourselves. It is that that makes us sovereign in our own lives.

Thank God that humanity is turning the corner in some parts of the globe.

It is connection that maketh the human human, not wealth, ego-satisfaction, achievement or worldly success. These things satisfy our need for security, safety, basic survival and include food shelter and avoidance of pain, and are not to be diminished in relative importance in this three-dimensional world we live in. We have only to compassionately recognise the absence of these basic human rights throughout some countries in the Middle East to know that many of our human family suffer, on a daily basis.  

But in the so-called First World where we are suffering from an over abundance of material wealth with our two and three car families and houses that echo with emptiness because they are so big, it is the memories of the heart that bring the deepest peace on the deathbed.

Long live love, long live connection and may peace reign throughout the globe as we awaken to the throb of the love bond that exists throughout all the universe, connecting everything to everything else in the vast immeasurable web of life.

Thank you to the Prince of Hearts and his blessed bride for courageously parading their love for the world to see and feel.

We hear so much about the incoming Divine Feminine energies but what does this mean for contemporary women from all walks of life, and in the various stages of womanhood?

The “Divine Feminine”, “Return of the Feminine”, the Sacred Feminine ” are all metaphors for the return to higher consciousness. We seek balance between the male and female aspects of the Self and when we find that balance we come into our power. The return of the feminine, is not about women ruling society; that would create imbalance. It is about the return to nature, to masculine/feminine aspects in harmony, yin and yang re-united so both hemispheres of the brain are working in balance leading to higher levels of consciousness.

When we take an overview of the changes taking place on a cultural level right across the globe we can begin to see that there is a subtle energy shift, in wake of the GFC, that calls for a slow-down of the galloping pace of life and a move towards co-operative rather than competitive relationships at home, in the business world and in the community.

This is an expression of the Divine Feminine whose values include co-operation, net-working, process-orientated, conservation, and support. The values we have been operating under are competitive, hierarchical, linear, expansion, and dog-eat-dog. The incoming Divine Feminine is ushering in a change in the way that society functions as well as a shift in the way that women perceive themselves and men relate to them.

Women are being called on to acknowledge these powerful energies within themselves and align with the vital primary forces of life that drive both their physical functioning and their psychology.

When a woman is empowered through this alignment she becomes exactly what nature intended her to be: sexy, articulate, intuitive, playful, feeling and healing. As the bearer of children, she carries the baton of life force energy through to the next generation. And because she is compelled to seek compassionate quality connection with those in her intimate circle, she is the connector, creating and re-creating the web of life that sustains us all. Her primary drive is to conserve, nurture maintain and support. With the planet teetering at the brink of exhaustion, it is the feminine principle that is now needed to redress the imbalance and heal.

When, as a woman, you tune into your female biological underpinning, you will learn how to listen to the whisperings of your own truth. You will then be open to the immense source of power that comes from acknowledging and living in alignment with your feminine core.

When, as a man, you understand the essential nature of the woman in your life, you will more easily dovetail into the soft undulations of the feminine psyche whilst retaining, upholding and engaging your own potent masculine spirit.

More than one in six couples in Australia experience delays in conceiving. While the common perception is still that women are largely at fault when there are fertility problems, medical researchers are stating unequivocally now that the male carries at least 50% of the responsibility.

In fact, since 2004, a flurry of research into male fertility has had alarm bells ringing. Researchers in the US, Europe and Australia have estimated at least a 50% drop-off in male potency since our grandparents time and have even identified Sick Sperm Syndrome, a phenomenon that has raised many questions about whether the decline in male fertility is really is getting worse and what, in our modern lifestyles could be causing it.

As early as 2005, Professor of Developmental Biology at Queensland University, Peter Koopman said when discussing declining male infertility, “A little like global warming, what we will see with fertility is that things will reach breaking point…We’re starting to see a precipitous decline in fertility and if that continues over the next 10, 20, 50 years, it will be impossible for men to reproduce naturally. And I think that is a grave situation for the human race and for our quality of life.”

Research has identified a number of reasons why this decline is happening. Firstly, with our new understandings of trans-generational genetic mutation, it is now acknowledged that a son can not only inherit his father’s bad habits, but also the damage done to his father’s reproductive capacity as a result of that bad habit. For example, if a father develops lung cancer, DNA damage in his spermatozoa also occurs. As a consequence of that DNA damage, there is a four-to-five fold increased chance his children will develop childhood cancers of various kinds.  So his children are genetically weaker that he was.

Moreover, the newer technologies being used in IVF clinics around the country to offset the dramatic reduction in the amount of sperm available due to the recent rapid decline, is to isolate a single sperm to fertilise the oocyte(woman’s egg). This effectively bypasses Nature’s brilliant plan of having the strongest sperm win the conception race, thus ensuring a stronger offspring. Technicians are doing the selecting based on their limited perceptions of the strongest sperm. Natural selection is being compromised and babies are being born genetically weaker than their fathers.

Secondly, not only is there a decline in the quantity of sperm, but also research is demonstrating that the rise in male infertility is directly linked to the increase in testicular cancer particularly amongst young men in their twenties. And one of the main reasons is environmental toxins which damage the sperm when it is in the vulnerable ’production line’ phase, increasing vulnerability to cancer but also impacting on the potency of the sperm itself.

It is during this production process within the testes of the male that genetic material is being packed into the microscopic head of the sperm. This cargo is designed for delivery at the crucial moment when it binds to the oocyte, after its victory swim up the vaginal canal of the woman.

A range of specific and non-specific environmental toxins have been cited as responsible for little or no sperm production, slow sperm or non-functional sperm, during the production line phase which means effectively that the chances of being a victor sperm are minimal at the least and impossible in most cases. 

Studies on male fertility over the past twenty years by the Queensland Fertility Group was based on the job that the study participants do, indicating the level of environmental toxicity that the workers were exposed to, according to the clinic’s scientific director Keith Harrison.

 The studies showed that white collar workers, people who work in offices and don’t get their hands too dirty, around a quarter of them have significant semen defects.  For blue collar workers such as transport workers 50% of them had semen defects. In occupations where the men actually get their hands dirty, such as builders, electricians, painters, plumbers, again there’s a 50% incidence of abnormal semen. However, of the men who really get their hands dirty; motor mechanics, fitters, turners, welders, machinery operators – there was an almost doubling in the incidence of semen defects. Similarly, farmers and graziers and people in mining industries demonstrated double the incidence of semen defects as office-based workers.

 And the problem may even be even closer to home – or getting home after a day's work! Italian scientists say traffic pollution can affect male fertility by damaging sperm. After studying 85 attendants at tollgates on Italian motorways, researchers at the University of Naples in southern Italy discovered that the men had poorer quality sperm than other young and middle-aged Italian workers in the same area.

"The sperm count did not differ significantly between our study group and the controls but, in general, the sperm of the study group was more feeble and less active, so it has a lower fertility potential," said Dr Michele de Rosa, a researcher at the university.

Levels of testosterone and other hormones in the men, who were exposed to pollutants for about six hours a day, were normal, but sperm motility, or ability to swim, was lower, which could affect its ability to fertilise a female egg.

"Our study demonstrates that continuous exposure to traffic pollutants impairs sperm quality in young and middle-aged men," Dr De Rosa said.

The researchers said the toll workers had been exposed to higher levels of nitrogen oxides, sulphur oxides, carbon monoxide and lead than the other men in the area. They identified nitrogen oxides and lead as the most likely causes of sperm damage.

Furthermore, the effect of chemical intoxication can impact more than production of sperm in the adult male. It can impair embryonic development. For example, although the issue of oestrogens in the environment is contentious, many chemicals can produce oestrogen effects in animals and especially on developing foetuses. Exposure to some pesticides and plastics at high enough levels can disrupt male hormones, particularly in the developing foetus. If this damage has happened to the male embryo during gestation, it will take at least 20 to 30 years for that damage to be identified, which is when the now adult male attempts to reproduce himself. Many of the hazardous chemicals cited have not been around for long enough to determine the degree of damage to the DNA. Laboratory testing on animals however, do not paint a promising picture for male fertility.

As well as environmental toxins there is also a concern about the toxic effect that pharmaceutical drugs are having on male fertility. The concern is that while pharmaceuticals may be tested rigorously for their sematic toxicity (do they make your hair fall out or cause kidney or liver poisoning?) there is little effort given to studying their reproductive toxicology. Anti-depressants have been cited as compromising the health of the sperm.

 Researchers at the Cornell Medical Centre in New York put 35 men on the anti-depressant drug Paroxetine for five weeks. After a month, changes in the DNA of the men's sperm were discovered. Dr Peter Schlegel was the lead researcher for the project.

"If you look at normal sperm counts and motility, the standard measures of fertility, you saw no changes, but if you looked at sperm DNA, the genetic material in more detail you actually found dramatic changes in almost half of the men, normal men, who are on this drug," he said.

Paroxetine is sold in Australia as Aropax. Millions of prescriptions for various anti-depressant drugs are written in Australia every year.

In the face of all this doom and gloom, is there any glimmer in the darkness? Well, it seems that if men are prepared to take the pill, there may well be.

 For research has found that a combination of anti-oxidants and vitamins can significantly increase a man's fertility.

A tablet (ah-ha – a pill for men?) containing vitamins C and E, folate, zinc, lycopene and garlic oil has been found to help protect a man's sperm from damage caused by smoking, toxins and infections.

The study conducted in Australia found that the success of pregnancy doubled in the infertile couples who took the pill.

So in real terms what does all this mean? Well, according to current figures, even the most fertile of couples having unprotected sex at the right time of the month have just a 1 in 4 chance of conceiving that month. So getting pregnant isn’t as easy as our mothers warned us. And given that the proportion of abnormally low semen volume, sperm concentration and motility, increases significantly with the age of the male, along with women’s tendency to put off wanting to have children until they are older, it seems that we are fast heading to a future where having children will be the exception rather than the norm.

However, the problem of male fertility is not easily resolved. The male biological inscription determines that men are often the last to admit that there is anything wrong with them. That is why it has taken so long to even recognize that half of the current fertility crisis rests with men, and is not just the domain of the female. Women have carried the larger part of responsibility for contraception for fifty years now at great expense to their procreative power (the pill decreases fertility) their emotional stability (studies show the pill causes depression) and their birthright to pleasure (the pill has been proven to permanently decrease libido).  Men have had no need for chemical interference in their hormonal functioning because it was always assumed that women would bear the load.

The problem of rising infertility rates in the human species must be addressed if we are to bequeath future generations the endowment they are entitled to: that of the right to evolve. In the opinion of those observing the downward spiral of our reproductive power, we may well be heading to a future where reproduction is so compromised that humanity is on the path to devolution: that is each generation is becoming less healthy than the one before.

In Traditional Chinese Medicine the axiom for health and wellbeing is moderation in all things, including moderation. Lifestyle it seems is a major contributing factor to rising rates of infertility. This is something we can all do something about. Eating well, regular exercise, resting and recuperating in balance with work and social activities, a regular detoxification program and taking supplementation if there is a deficiency are all easy ways to bring our bodies and minds into the balance required to create healthy sperm and eggs.

Balance also means bringing the opposites into a state of equilibrium. So, as men and women, gender polar opposites, come together to take responsibility for a challenge, there is where wholeness lies. Let us work together to create a healthy future for our children

 What do you think? I would love to have your opinion.

I would like you to meet Bleeding Heart, one of the new essences in my Spirit of Woman Australian Wild Flower Essence range being launched on 21st June, 2009.

Bleeding Heart
Omalanthus populifolius (Queensland Poplar)
A fast-growing, rainforest tree belonging to the family Euphorbiaceae. It has leaves shaped like hearts. As they are dying, the leaves turn red, thus the name.
The minute, cream flowers grow in dense, terminal, slender racemes.
It pops up everywhere in perfect weather conditions, but wilts and dies quickly once ‘the heat is on.’
Doctrine of Signatures
This tree is extremely fast growing as if it is in a hurry, like those who fall in and out of love at the drop of a hat, desperately seeking what they feel a relationship should be offering them.
The leaves are distinctly heart-shaped and just before they fall off the tree, they turn to a brilliant and dramatic red colour. Called Bleeding Heart, the tree’s growing habit reminds one of the drama and intensity that goes with the break-up of a relationship — painful memories, hurt and grief, making the heart bleed.
The numerous tiny flowers located on a slender raceme seem to be reaching out as if desperately seeking for acceptance and love or for a need to be met. The abundance of the flowers suggests although the affairs have been numerous, none have yet satisfied the need. The smallness of the flowers suggests that the person feels small and not worthy of notice and what is so desperately being sought is a feeling of self-worth.
Dying For Love
This is the person who seeks outside of herself for validation and a sense of being worthy. She seeks love in every encounter, and feels validated and alive if she is in the intense honeymoon period of a love affair.
Often this person is ‘dying for love,’ and can sabotage her own desire for a relationship by wearing her heart on her sleeve and actually pushing away a prospective partner with her intensity.
Or sometimes this type of person will fall in love with the unattainable — the clergy, a married man, etc. — thus subconsciously fulfilling her own prophecy of never finding the right partner.
These women romanticize love, holding it up as an ideal and are often unable to sustain a relationship when the person turns out to be ‘ordinary.’ Because of their idealized view of love, they put their lover or spouse on a pedestal, then wonder why they are disappointed when he turns out to be human and not ‘superhuman’ after all.
Many women put romantic expectations on their lover or spouse, and when he doesn’t deliver they lose their loving feeling. They may fantasize about leaving the present relationship and finding one where they will ‘truly be loved.’
A Wall Around the Heart
Some women cut themselves off from the rest of the world because they are partnered. Their unreal expectations that their partner will fulfill all of their needs — physical, social, emotional, sexual, security and friendship — puts a heavy strain on the relationship. The woman will feel sad when her partner can’t deliver and find that she is isolated and lonely.
Some women put a wall around their heart because they don’t want it to bleed again, having been hurt in the past by a love relationship gone wrong. These women experience great pain because in their deepest heart, they want to love again, but they are too scared to reach out.
Love is a Natural State
This essence attunes one to the feeling that one is worthy of experiencing true love that endures in a state of grace, delicacy and gentleness. It helps one to recognize that love can be constant and enduring and does not falter when the chips are down. It allows one to see that true love is unconditional and not focused on only what one is receiving, but also what one is giving. This love does not control, but rather lets things be the way they are based in the profound heart wisdom that everything is unfolding perfectly as it should.
Bleeding Heart helps a woman to recognize affinity as attraction to a significant other, and when that magnetism is felt, there is genuinely something there. It helps to put into perspective the notion that touching and being touched is a demonstration of the power of feeling between them and not simply an end in itself.
Love is a natural state between all living things. Love radiates throughout all existence, including human beings and the plant, animal and mineral kingdoms.
Live to Love and Love to Live
The cry of a ‘warrior of the heart’ is live to love again. When we stay open to love, we become more loving and consequently attract love to us. This is the healing energy of Bleeding Heart.
Your Healing Challenges

• For those who wear their heart on their sleeve.
• For those who pine for love.
• For those who fall in love with the unattainable.
• For those who put a wall around the heart.
• For co-dependency.
• For those who feel they can’t live without love.

Your Healing Outcomes

• Brings discernment in selecting a partner.
• Quiets the hungry heart.
• Opens the heart to true love.
• Encourages individuality within a relationship.
• Enables love of the self.
• Helps one to take a risk.
• Works on the first, second and fourth chakras.

Introducing ……….. Blue Mink

This is one of the exciting NEW flower essences that is part of my Spirit of Woman Australian Flower Essences range. The range will be launched at the Endeavour College

on 21st June, 2009. For details and to register for an invitation click here

Blue Mink
Ageratum Houstonianum

Description:
Native to tropical Mexico, this member of the Asteraceae or Compositae family (which contains daises, sunflowers and asters) is a popular and easily grown annual that has escaped cultivated gardens and now flourishes as a classified weed.
It is fully established in Australia and is commonly known here as Blue Mink or Blue Top.
It has low sheen, heart-shaped leaves that are slightly furry, with showy blue, lavender and mauve-pink fluffy, soft flower-heads.
Medicinally, it is classed as an anodyne – an agent that soothes, comforts or relaxes. The juice of the plant is used externally to treat cuts and wounds.
An ornamental plant, the flowers are very attractive to butterflies that can be seen dancing around their soft, blue fluffy flower-heads in the sunshine.
Doctrine of signatures:
The soft, puffy appearance of this attractive little flower calls out to be touched. It gives the impression that it could be used to stroke the skin soothingly.
It has heart-shaped leaves that are soft, furry and pleasing to touch.
Its soft blue, lavender and pink colours are classically feminine and evoke a sense of tenderness.
Medicinally, it is classed as an anodyne, which is used to relax and soothe, so it carries the quality of softening the hard lines of tension and stress that grip and tauten the body.
Its use in treating cuts and wounds on the skin suggests a strong healing quality for emotional wounds that have penetrated deeply through the protective barrier of the aura which, when intact and healthy, protects the skin and keeps us feeling safe and relaxed.
It loves to grow in the filtered sun, evoking the image of lying in a relaxed state, soaking up gentle warmth and feeling no anxiety, stress, tension, pressure or sense of threat.
It likes to be protected from harsh cold windy conditions, signifying the sense of wanting to be kept safe from the outside world.
Originally a cultivar that has escaped and now roams free across the landscape, it suggests the feeling of freedom that women experience when they are liberated enough to relax and enjoy their sensuality and sexuality.
This soft and attractive little flower evokes a feeling of wanting to touch it. It resonates with women because of its tactile softness and feminine colours. It is particularly appropriate for women in the area of sexual expression and intimacy where stress is an ongoing factor in their busy lives.
Stress affects women differently to men, particularly in the areas of sex and intimacy.
The stress hormones of cortisol and adrenaline boost the inflow of testosterone into a male’s bloodstream causing him to want to have sex. In fact, sexual connection relieves a man’s stress by draining the build-up of tension from his body leaving him feeling relaxed and soothed and brimming with oxytocin, the hormone that fosters connection and love of intimacy. A sexually satisfied man will sleep easy after a love-making session with his partner, feeling secure and comfortable.
But the hormonal drivers work differently in a woman’s body. They cause a distinct physical and emotional adverse response to sexual advances from her partner. Cortisol and adrenaline dampen down the oxytocin inflow into a woman’s body so that she does not respond to touch in the way that she normally would when relaxed. They also diminish the production of the neuro-chemical dopamine, which triggers her desire for pleasure.
So stress acts to restrict and harden a woman to the sexual advances of her partner.
In fact, often her stress is increased when he reaches for her because she feels so stretched already, and the last thing on her mind is sex when all she wants to do is sleep! Blue Mink relaxes and soothes, paving the way to being open to physical contact.
One of the old-fashioned advices that came to me from my grandmother was, if you want a happy marriage and you can’t ‘make it’, then fake it!
The women’s liberation movement looked sternly down its nose at this old adage as it seemed to be suggesting that a woman is acting against her best interests by giving in to her husband’s request for sex when she doesn’t really want it.
The biological reality is that, for women, all the normal triggers for sexual desire do shut down when she is stressed, making sex seem like a chore rather than a pleasure.
But the secret is that there is truth in what our grandmothers were saying.
Research demonstrates that even though we may not be open to sex at the outset, by going ahead and engaging sexually, the hormones of sexual pleasure, relaxation and satisfaction start to flow once sex begins.
Below conscious level, the ‘pleasure and connection’ hormones, stimulated by the act of sex, switch on the body’s relaxation response, causing the body-mind to unwind naturally.
The outcome is deep healing sleep and relief from the tension burden that could otherwise persist for days and even weeks, if not cleared.
Stress and tension generate an unhealthy tightening of the body musculature and debilitation of the nervous system, causing both physical and emotional pain and reduced function.
Physical symptoms can include headaches, PMT, tiredness, palpitations, acne and digestive dysfunction. Blue Mink assists with these stress-induced conditions, assisting the Body-Mind to relax and release.
Emotional repercussions can range from overwhelm, anxiety, irritability and irrational anger and striking out, to feelings of isolation, separation and a desire to escape from the world. Use Blue Mink first then follow up with another essence, appropriate to the specific emotional state.
In the long-term, chronic stress is the precursor to many debilitating disease states.
Healing Challenges:
For stress.
For dislike of intimate touch.
For feeling stressed by sexual advances from a partner.
For dislike of partner and feelings of mistrust.
For being closed off and hard-edged to children, family or friends.
For deep emotional pain from a past relationship.
For skin diseases, such as psoriasis, eczema, rosacea, neuro-dermatitis, superficial wounds and scratches.
Healing Outcomes:
Relieves stress and tension.
Opens a stressed woman to the comfort and protective energy of her partner.
Softens the hard lines of tension through gentle touch of the skin, in a non-sexual way.
Restores a sense of connection and intimacy, particularly when stressed.
Heals long-held emotional heart wounds from the past.
Has a soothing healing effect on the skin
Soothes a ruffled or torn aura.
For psoriasis, neuro-dermatitis, eczema, especially when worse with emotional stress.

To find out more about this exciting new range of flower essences specifically for women, click here

Females and males are polar opposites, cleverly designed by nature way back when the original moulds were made.

 Living in an urban environment, which allows such diversity of roles for both women and men, often blinds us to our original gender inheritance. Today we are born as uniquely genderised as we were in days gone by.

The truth is that our gender is not only biologically written into the hard-wiring of our genitals but it is also imprinted permanently onto our brain structure. Furthermore it is  reinforced, at the cellular level, by the genderising hormones  that flood our bodies both in utero during foetal development and again, even more emphatically, at the time of adolescence.

Subsequently, from that time on, from moment to moment each thought we have, as either a female or a male, further imprints our gender preferences on every level of being, physical, emotional and mental.

Males and females are very different in their thoughts, feelings, values, perceptions, judgments, ambitions, desires and needs. We are designed to be so. This is how we complement one another and how we can together create a family unit.

In a recent survey both men and women were asked to describe the kind of person they would really like to be.

This is what they said:

What Men Want:

Men chose: bold, competitive, capable, dominant, assertive, admired, practical, prestige, power, to own things.

What Women Want:

Women chose: warm, loving, generous, attractive, friendly, giving, service to others, meeting interesting people

 No wonder that we often don’t see eye-to-eye!!